The Return of Crossfit

Tomorrow morning I will once more darken the gym floor of Level 10 Crossfit. It's been 2 years. My back was so damaged I didn't think I could ever return. But since being with Dino Correa at Core Fitness for the past year, I have experienced a healing that I bought was impossible. Now that Dino is closing his doors, it seemed the perfect time to return to the gym home I have always loved. I am sad for Dino, but so grateful for the relief of pain. So tomorrow! I can't wait!

When a Food Addict Gets Sick

So a lot of people get sick and they just retreat into a cocoon of not eating, blankets, and tepid water. Sometimes I am one of those people. Today is not that day. 

Today I got up as usual and went about my business. Around 9 a.m. I started feeling really cruddy, with symptoms of nausea, diarrhea and headache. So I returned home, put on my stretchy pants and crawled into bed.

Now I know all about BRAT (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast)... I have eaten my fair share of saltine crackers, graham crackers, chicken soup, and the like. However, I also have this little gluten sensitivity issue. So, if I eat bread, pasta, or other grain products, I get a runny nose, stomach irritation, and a bloated gut. But coincidentally, my American Diet based on the traditional food pyramid tells me that those are the things I need. So I usually end up eating those things, which consequently ends up making me sicker. 

I have 5 levels of sick:

1) whining in bed & not eating anything at all

2) whining in bed & eating everything

3) whining in general, up and about & not eating anything at all

4) whining in general, up and about & eating everything, hoping it'll make me feel better

5) Mom Mode: feeling like crap but sucking it up and going about life as though I feel fine

Today is level 2. But without the carbs/grain. Phew. 

Food Addict

So I am admitting it. I am a food addict. I think about food all the time. I will search old purses for change just so I can get some food I am out of. I wake up wondering what to have for breakfast, what to make myself for lunch, how much groceries I will need to buy next payday, will the groceries I have MAKE IT til next payday? Food for me, food for the kids, food for hubby, food for potential dinner guests, food on vacation, food when I don't want to cook, etc......

It would be so much easier if we didn't HAVE TO eat. But we do. Often. And it is so much easier, and often tastier to eat the bad thing, or too much of a good thing. 

It would also be easier if I was a terrible cook. But I am not. In fact I am borderline gourmet, and the only thing keeping me here is my food budget.

I am not a huge sweets fan. I know, when fluffy people say this, skinny people roll their eyes. But seriously, aside from the occasional Ritter Sport Dark Chocolate with Hazelnut bar, or some once in a while sweet treat, I am not a huge sweets fan. But if it's there and I am hungry, well...you know.

I crave salty and crunchy. Not ANY salty and crunchy. Usually chips. Or nuts. Or something nut like or chip like. I always have to end on salty, not sweet. 

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I am starting over. I have put most of my lost weight back on...AGAIN! I am not all miserable about it...not beating myself up...well, maybe a little. But I know my first step in the right direction always has to be accountability. So here ya go. Hold me accountable.

Also, we are going to do the unthinkable. We are going to start over as a family. 

Because look, I love bread. And chips. And pasta. But they all make me fat and make me feel like crabapples. And I can't imagine what it's doing to my children. And I KNOW what it's doing to my husband. Between us all there are too many health scares, too many mood issues, pain issues, weight issues and more to just sit here and act like I haven't learned what I have learned about food. It can heal us, or it can kill us. 

I want it to heal us. And I don't want to go backwards again. So pray for us, that we can see this lifestyle change through.